He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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