Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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