all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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