I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
