Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
