I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
