I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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