Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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