I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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