Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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