He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
