and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
