i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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