I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
