There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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