I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
