She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
