imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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