babies were throwing up all over the place
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
