i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
