when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
