R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
