Will you blow on my dice?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Randomize
