I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She said her name was "party"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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