that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize