she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I die, sorry about rent.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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