I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
