my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Im part way to drunk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
