Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
