do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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