At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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