you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
