My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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