Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
