he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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