No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
