Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
