3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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