You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
