Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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