the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
