brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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