I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
