My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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