i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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