ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

  Fav 4 1178 839

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you

  Fav 16 1283 1244

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.

  Fav 7 1003 6912

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Winning.

  Fav 74 7501 1289

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...

  Fav 38 5941 2311

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

  Fav 8 1409 5604

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

  Fav 5 3937 1354

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.

  Fav 6 1093 1486

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.

  Fav 26 1814 1013

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  We have started to decorate penises.

  Fav 12 995 637

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

  Fav 2 718 708

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

  Fav 2 881 554

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.

  Fav 0 673 782

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.

  Fav 0 546 239

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.

  Fav 3 275 123

  share tweet
  

Randomize