Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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