i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.