Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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