Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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