dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
