dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
