K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
