take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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