If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
