some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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