i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
