I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just invented taco cereal.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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