i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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