The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
