So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
